it's been a while

I'm back, not from outer space, and i didn't just walk in here to find you with that sad look upon your face......so i'm gonna stop quoting Gloria. I'm lame.


So,

I got a job. I work 40 hours a week 730-4 monday - friday at a place called Hycor Biomedical. It's been really chill for my first week and a half, the first check was great even though it was only for 3 days of work. I can't wait to get have a bank account again FINALLY. Now I can save. and save. and save. and spend a tiny bit in the process of SAVING! This job is a little wearing, but it works, it's money, and I need money bad. Moving on.

Taking this job along with going to school full time is gonna screw with my head a little bit and I'm so anxious and scared that I just wish I could totally avoid the entire situation. And basically, school and work together means, Monday thru Thursday, the only time I will be at home is when I'm sleeping. Fridays will just be work. I'm gonna do my best to get through it. This is going to take more strength than I've put out in a long long time, maybe even ever.

Another thing added to the list when school starts, I can't go to vision. Which also means I can't play guitar at vision. Both very upsetting because that is like the BEST part of the week for me. Not sure how i'm gonna cope with all of this but it's tearing me up inside thinking about it.

On the other side of the fence,
My friendships with the people in my life are growing so fast, it's like a wildfire. I love it. I feel really complete with the friends I have and I really hope working and going to school so much doesn't mess that up because it means so much to me.

My room, in my opinion, actually feels like a room now. Before it was merely a dresser with a crappy tv and a matress on the floor. Now, I actually have a desk, a nightstand, a bookcase (if only i could read), and yeah still have the 19th century 500lb dresser and the wood paneled tv circa 1987. It feels really like home now. Which i think is a trait it was lacking for a long time. I'm not happy because of materialism and now i have all this new stuff....it's just that before this, my room kinda felt like something out of 1984 by George Orwell.

To sum all of this rambling up,


My life has been uplifted by great friends and having the opportunity to work again. But it really feels like the 2 may conflict and I'm really lost on what to do with the situation.

I'm finna pray on it.



"Ask not what tomorrow may bring,
but count as blessing every day that Fate allows you."