Sunday, May 24, 2009

Bustin it out

Alright there's a bunch of stuff I have to let loose. I'm not that good with opening up to my friends and letting them know what's going on because I've grown to be afraid of being judged. Ridiculous.

In my past, being anything but sober was the best getaway for me. I made alot of friends this way. They supported it so I had no problem with it. But I was taking someone close to me for granted and throwing away pretty much the best friendship ever to be a part of my life. Not good. Even though alot of the time I didn't pay much attention to it or put anything towards making it better, losing that friendship was going to send me even further past my party stage to keep the thought of pain out of my head.

I decided to stop doing the stuff i've done because I want a better life. Where I can be happy without having to have something in my body to create the happiness. I'm tired of being disrespectful and not caring about anyone. I started hanging out with different people because they are great people and an awesome influence on how I'd like to be as a person. I've been an asshole pretty much since high school. Sure it's fun and I don't have to care about anything but myself, how easy is that? DGAF is the EASIEST concept to live your life by. I'd rather work my ass off and be a better person and make something awesome from that than stay the way I've been and not go anywhere in life.

I know everyone who's been in my past is going to question everything I'm saying and doing. And they're going to be against it. I'm not replacing anybody, I'm moving forward and if they don't want to agree with that or support that, they can stay behind. Losing friends sucks ass, but they aren't friends if they don't support you.

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