It's been a while so this is yet another sorta long rant. Yet again about how I want to better myself. I kinda do this alot because, well, it's tough. Going from good to bad is as easy as one little decision. But I think going from bad to good is harder because it requires tons of good decisions to overpower temptation. I keep praying that I can get through it though. I absolutely loathe quitting. It's almost not an option.
So, lately I've been playing the Sims 3 alot with Andrew and Cory. (i didn't play today though; progress? i hope so) I realized while playing, my ' SimSelf ' gets more done in one day than I do in a week! What kind of life am I living? I always talk about how I long to have a great job that I love and I want to be self sufficient and prove that I can live life on my own without going back to my old ways. And yet I spend 1-5 hours a day on this stupid game...making my digitally produced self BETTER!!! I'll ask again, What kind of life am I living??
I've been a big fan of zenhabits.net for a few months now. It's an awesome blog to read. Anyways, i was reading the latest entry on it tonight and it was talking about the solutions for feeling "stuck" in life. Now I don't necessarily feel stuck, because I know it just takes some hard work and I'll be right out of the hole I'm in. But it taught me a little bit about 'giving up'.
This doesn't mean what the general meaning might seem like. It wasn't about giving up and just taking an "f' it" approach to life. It was about giving up caring about all the little unimportant things in life and actually focusing on what's important. I'll name a few to give some examples of what I'm trying to explain. (the bold ones are the one's that really stood out for me)
- Give up achieving ego-driven goals
- Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life
- Give up needing a reason to share your love. Being alive is reason enough.
- Give up trying to have a flawless body, perfect face, or an impeccable wardrobe. Care more about beautifying your mind and being a person who takes beautiful actions.
The last two were totally awesome to read. It changed my thought process quite a bit. I really would like to change my life now. Really. And I want to be done with laziness. I am almost 20 ( yeah i'm a youngin ) and I need to start being responsible, dependable, and have the right mindset. I'm a work in progress. But I'm gonna be praying that I don't get distracted or led astray. I've said "i'm gonna do this, i'm gonna be better" way too many times and not put the amount of effort, that I know I have, into my goal.
It's time to change.
If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. I appreciate you taking the time to read about my life and stuff.
Have an awesome week everyone. I'll post up soon.
Hopefully announcing progress.
Hey dude, just found your blog!
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear that you are struggling with this stuff because if you stick to finding out the answers to all these questions you have, you WILL end up in a better place than you are now. But like you said, it's a work in progress. And the cool thing is, it is NEVER over. No matter how 'self-improved' you become, there is always somewhere else to go. Somewhere closer. Somewhere where the end result is less about you and more about others. And ultimately, more about Christ. He is the one who is tugging on you to make all these changes, so be sure that He is the one you are looking at to find the answers.
We love you and are totally stoked to have you in our lives these days! Keep up the good work, you are on the right path. :)
I know you posted this a while ago, but I must say, it's so awesome that you are fighting the good fight. I love the relationship we are allowed to have in Christ, and that He lets us take time to get better, cause that's what we need. Our Lord rocks! He'll always be here for us too....it's pretty freakin' exciting!!!! I love you man, you've totally got the right idea, keep up the awesome growth!!!
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